Sunday, December 7, 2008

Letter from Mama, v12

To my sweet, amazing one-year old daughter:

Happy birthday.

It has taken me some time to put this letter together; yet I know what I want every word to say.
Everything has gone so quickly I want to scoop up all our memories and put them someplace safe; someplace dark, secret, and close by. It amazes me 12 months ago, I looked at your face and I didn't even know you. Then time crept by and I learned you like to sleep on your tummy most. You did not like those pacifiers with the flat bottom. You liked being very warm. I learned things about you and you about me. And here we are today. And I know you better than anyone else. It's so simple for me. Mama knows, is all.

You're inquisitive and gentle. You take in your surroundings very aptly. One night, as Daddy fed you dinner, I laid on the couch. I didn't feel so well. When you were finished eating, you walked slow circles around the living room pausing at my side, touching my arm, asking to come up for a hug. As though you sensed something was off and Mama needed you.
You're completely unabashed and fearless. You have a high tolerance for pain and little to no memories of what has scared or hurt you. I love your willingness to pick yourself up and keep going. For such a tiny creature, you have a huge will.
You apparently share a few loves with me. We're both in love with Daddy. When you first get to peek at him in the mornings, your face instantly lights up. He taught you how to give kisses, something the two of you shared exclusively until I coaxed one from you a few days ago! You love music- any melody, any tune. I know it calms you down. Music does much of the same for me. I can't wait until we can split an iPod, an ear bud each listening to our old favorites over and over again. I already have a list penned for our first download. Books ... you are such a book worm, lil' dude. If I don't see you or hear you at home, I can bet you're in front of your jam-packed bookshelf, happily thumbing through your books. You know which direction is the right way up. And you have your favorites there too.

Yesterday, we were in your closet, putting away birthday loot and organizing things. I decided it was time to pack up all your baby things such as your rattles, teethers, soft crib toys, pacifiers, and bottles. You watched me intently, then proceeded to hand me the rest of the stack, one by one, as though in agreement with the decision. Such a big girl. You clutched baby tight though, you and baby have a very special bond. It was the first gift I picked out for you when I Christmas shopped for my baby girl. Have I told you I had a doll like yours when I was little? She was all I ever needed; her name was Bayrea. Same small body, same smooth plastic head. Peas in a pod, huh?

On the day you were born the round planet Earth turned toward your morning sky, whirling past darkness, spinning the night into light. -Debra Frasier, On the Day You Were Born

Can't wait to see what you'll do the next 12 months. Shine like the sun, baby girl.
Mama loves.

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