Conversation the lil' dude's Godfather ... aka, the "Cool Uncle" who was spending the day with her.
Me: "Hi, D, how has your day been?"
D: "Fun! We're having fun."
M: "I knew she would love spending time with you. Nothing scary has happened?"
D: "Well, she pooped right away. I sent you that text. I called the Dad though, I didn't know the tape things came around the diaper from the back."
M: "You didn't know which direction the diaper went on?"
D: "No. Then she peed her pants right before we got in the car."
M: "So, what outfit is she wearing now?"
D: "I don't know, the one she had on earlier?"
M: "You didn't change her clothes?"
D: "No, why? Should I have?"
M: "If she peed in them? Ummm- yeah."
D: "No, she only peed in her diaper. I changed her diaper. It was after she pooped."
M: "So she didn't pee her pants."
D: "Well in her diaper, yeah."
M: "OK. Did she eat good?"
D: "Yeah she ate those two things you left out. They smelled awful."
M: "The organic baby food?
D: "The orange stuff? Yeah. I mean, she really wanted to eat everything. She ate a lot. Will she barf?"
M: "Not usually."
D: "'Cause she did a little. It was more like a wet burp maybe? I don't know, it was orange and stunk and it's on her outfit. Does that need to come off?"
M: "Is it wet still?"
D: "No, it dried on there. But it's orange."
M: "Then leave it."
D: "So yeah, we're just playing on the floor, with her car."
M: "How long has she slept today?"
M: "Napped, how long has she napped."
D: "Maybe 10 minutes in the car."
M: "D, she needs to take a nap in her crib."
D: "Oh yeah, I had her in there, but she cried and cried and screamed. When I went in there she put her arms up for me."
M: "Yep, called tough love. Now go shut her shades and find a pluggie or two and turn on her CD player. She has to nap."
D: "But she's not crying now, we're chillin'."
M: "She. Needs. To. Nap. That is non-negotiable."
D: "But she cried so much before when I did that."
M: "If she doesn't nap she will be even worse later. She needs to nap to stay happy."
D: "She does?"