Monday, October 6, 2008

A Lesson in Ridiculousness

Had you told me 10 months ago my life would become so ridiculous, I would have laughed at you. Here are examples of what I mean ... the things I say on a daily basis that, taken out of context, make me sound like a complete lunatic. In the lil' dude's world, they are standard verbiage.

"Lil' dude, please don't lick the entertainment center."
"Lil' dude, why are there three pluggies in the dog's water dish?"
"Lil' dude, please don't lick the gutter downspout. The Beagle pees on that."
"Lil' dude, we do not eat the drain stop from the bathtub."
"Lil' dude, gourds are yucky, No more bites out of the gourd."
"Lil' dude, NO, we don't chew on the Mac's power cords."
"Lil' dude, the dirt stays in the garden/flower bed/flower pots. Don't eat it."
"Lil' dude, give me that dirty diaper. Oh wow, you're gross."
"Lil' dude, where are the last four pages of this library book?"
"Lil' dude, honey, sweetie, please tell me you didn't eat that entire graham cracker in two bites?"
"Lil' dude, Mama's wine rack is not a toy. Let's put that bottle of Shiraz back ..."
"Lil' dude, you gotta stop puking behind the end table. I can't reach it before the dog does."
"Lil' dude, you're going to cut your mouth on that Miller Lite can. Empties are not toys."
"Lil' dude, we already took your hat off. You are now just pulling on your hair, honey. Ouchie."

And that was just a typical Sunday.

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