Thursday, October 3, 2013

Stop It I'm Awesome

You had RSV when you were 8 weeks old.
You fell off the bed.
Took a can of spaghetti sauce to the forehead.
Stitches, to the face.
You crashed your bike into a cemetery fence.
A shiner that one Valentine's Day.
Fat lip. Teeth jarred loose.
Cut your own bangs.
You tasted hot salsa and screamed.
Once, I let you slip a little out of your bath towel and you smashed your head on tile.
Drank chlorine by the bucketfuls.

You were burned, bloodied, blistered, bruised, and now ... bullied.

I just can't protect you.

The above summarizes that and it kills me more than anything in my life. Heart walking around outside my body-type-thing. I've tried. I'm trying. To always protect you.

You came home today in tears. Said some second graders were mean to you, that you were pushed. You ran to me and starfished-me right in the rainy driveway.

And my first reaction was anger. I didn't cry. It wasn't even a fleeting emotion.

Which is amazing, given my natural tendencies to cry no matter the actual emotion I'm experiencing. Pride. Hurt. Depression. Anger. Audacity. Joy. Relief. Frustration. I'm a crier, so I cry.

But today? I think today I became a Mom. I wanted to rip some people apart, starting with second graders.

That's so awesome of me. Not the people-ripping, of course, but the fact that I handled the shitty situation with some sort of aplomb and Momness.

But- like I told you the night before school started, look out for your people. You simply have to be kind to everyone. And so do I, and you and I covered that topic today in the rain. Simply put, there are going to be mean little people in this world, just like there are mean big people. It's just how some people are. All you need to do is know when to find help, and just to tell them this:

Seriously. I "Liked" this Instagram post a week ago, and today, it was the first thing that came to mind. So thanks for that, Bruno. It's ... sad and unfortunate we need to arm our kids with this mantra, but it's what Mama's do.

I really don't want to have to rip off any tiny appendages today. It's been a long week.

So- Kid Rock. You got this, and I always got you. I can't always protect you, and even if I could, I probably wouldn't want to. Uphill both ways and all, the only way to get to the other side is to go through it, character building, etc.

I'll be waiting for you. A million always and forevers.

Mama loves.

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