Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Put It In a Box & Wait
You know your Mama's obsession with words. I have written ... however many blog posts from the very heart of my hearts. And in this season of life, when you've got your barrel pointed at five and increasingly remind me I am raising a girl-child-human and not a drooly baby pet, I am devouring words with a fervor. I have quoted lots of my favorites on this blog, both mainstream and notsomuch. I have another excerpt for you, sweet girl, from a book called Tiny Beautiful Things, written by Cheryl Strayed. This book, combined with The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan are my favorites of 2012. You do know when you graduate from high school I am going to give you an armoire of books, right, and not a cute sports car? You'll thank me some day. Back to Cheryl:
Part Five: Put It In a Box And Wait
You give a lot of advice about what to do. Do you have any advice about what not to do?
Don't do what you know on a gut level to be the wrong thing to do. Don't stay when you know you should go or go when you know you should stay. Don't fight when you should hold steady or hold steady when you should fight. Don't focus on the short-term fun instead of the long-term fallout. Don't surrender all your joy for an idea you used to have about yourself that isn't true anymore. Don't seek joy at all costs. I know it's hard to know what to do when you have conflicting set of emotions and desires, but it's not as hard as we pretend it is. Saying it's hard is ultimately a justification to do whatever seems like the easiest thing to do- have the affair, stay at that horrible job, end a friendship over a slight, keep loving someone who treats you terribly. I don't think there's a single dumbass thing I've done in my adult life that I didn't know was a dumbass thing to do while I was doing it. Even when I justified it to myself- as I did every damn time- the truest part of me knew I was doing the wrong thing. Always. As the years pass, I'm learning how to better trust my gut and not do the wrong thing, but every so often I get a harsh reminder that I've still got work to do.