Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Letter from Mama, v17

Happy 17mo. birthday, lil' dude!

You are gently becoming the person you will become, each day growing more and more. Your personality and attitudes are well-defined. Yesterday morning you melted when I tried to help you with your shoes- me, you roared. You indeed.

I didn't know fear until I became your Mama. Each day you conquer new things on your own, pushing the limits and yourself further and further away from me. It's a fearful process- trying to manage a piece of my very own body, my very own soul as it operates on its own separate from me. But, and this is important; I do not give in. I don't let fear incapacitate me because what would I be teaching you? I never want you to live in fear, I never want you to make choices based on being scared, or afraid of getting hurt. You'd miss too much of the good things in life. You have me taught that already.

Raising children is no small feat. It's life's greatest and biggest blessing and challenge. I think raising daughters goes a little beyond that. I want you to grow up healthy and strong and determined and smart and challenged and fearless. And that begins now. As I nurture your sweet side, reason with your temperamental side, delight in your creative side, and foster your sensitive side, I am completely conscious of the form you are taking, what type of girl you are molding into. I am careful to kiss you for your patience and thoughtfulness just as I am to compliment you on your dazzling smile. There is more than the outside to any package, lil' dude, please always remember that. You are the sum of all your parts. It makes me love myself more, having you as my tiny sidekick. You're my greatest source of inspiration to be, simply, better.

Last night you crawled in my lap in your lemon jammies and we just sat like that for awhile. You were thumbing through a magazine, pointing out every puppy and bunny and baby you saw. You turned around to look me in the eye as you spoke, making sure I could hear your words. I heard them, baby girl. I hear everything you say. It's moments like that one, where we're so close I can smell your sweet breath and see the rise and fall of your bitty chest, that I almost can't believe I am lucky enough to be your mother. How blessed I am to have you as my daughter.

Mama loves.

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