Never Goodbye

She was there when I dreamed of you.
She was there, first in line, when I told her of you.
She was there, when Daddy called, as everyone learned of you.

She's always, always been there. Your Auntie M., one of Mama's dearest, favoritest, most important friends.
She gave you your very first purse.
And so, so much more.

Your Auntie M is brave. She doesn't think so, but I tell her anyways. She's following her heart ... 830 miles away from me- from us. I've encouraged her, and fostered her ability to go with everything I have because simply; I am her proponent and I love her always.

Now I'll learn to love her differently. From far away. But really, she's here, in this spot I touch. She's in my heart, nestled in my soul, and forever embedded in my memory. Not far away, really.


She was there from the very beginning ...

I've known Auntie M. for nearly seven years, yet I feel like I've known her my whole life. When something is good, it just is. Lil' dude, I hope for you with all my heart you meet someone like her to be your own right arm someday. Nothing in life is as good without a friend to share it with you. I know she's made me a better mother. Better person.

So to her I say, goodbye, good luck, and good shoes.
But not really the goodbye part.
Never goodbye.

Wordless Wednesday

Move

You have ants in your pants.

Even as you are giving into sleep, in my arms in the rocker, your feet are go-go-going. They never stop.
Show you a mountain and you'll climb it. It's insane, really, how fearless and at the ready you are for everything.
I watched you play with some littles Sunday night- girls. The three of you sat on your blanket and played with babies and keys and cell phones and purses and dump trucks. You were sitting, actually on your tushie, playing and interacting so nicely.

18 seconds went by ...

Then, you were gone. Trying to climb onto the windowsill so you could peer at the neighbors. Watch the dog pee on a tree. See the cars drive by. I do love that you gave sit-still playing a chance, but it's clearly not you. I feel and know that is not who you are. The littles kept playing, completely content and oblivious to the blur that was you.

Daddy and I are unfazed by your willingness to turn laundry baskets and empty Cruisers boxes into stepping stools. We don't even notice how close to the edge of anything you are anymore, until we hear someone gasp and reach out for you. You've narrowly escaped gushing head wounds and split eyebrows by millimeters. You smile, we exhale.

Your new favorite adventure is the dining room table. Daddy likes to do an Olympic commentary featuring you as ShaunJohn, the teeny gymnast Shaun Johnson. Little girl, huge spirit- a lot like someone we know.









You, my dear, score a Perfect 10.

Waking Up is Hard to Do

P.s. It's the weekend, sweetheart. You can FINALLY sleep in!
P.s.s. Summer jammies!! Yeay! With skulls on them!
P.s.s.s. Why do you look so big this morning?

I Confess ...

Sometimes, when people at work tell me I look tired, I tell them I was up all night with the lil' dude.
It's never true. We all know that girl wakes up once in every never during the night.

If the lil' dude is stuck on a particular book and I am so very tired of reading it, I will hide it for a few days.
That Goodnight, Elmo book? Kills. Me.

I'll let the lil' dude take very, very long baths just so I can clean the bathroom while she's in the tub. And sometimes, I use that time to finish reading whatever magazine I'm in the middle of. Total raisin fingers.

There are sippy cups in my work refrigerator that belong to my daughter. If she doesn't finish her milk on the way in each morning, I keep it cold rather than tossing it. Hello, expensive. Tuesday, I brought home three cups.

I tell people the lil' dude wanted a Happy Meal when really, Mama wanted a Big Mac.

I'll give her free reign of a forbidden kitchen cabinet if I want to get something accomplished, or eat my pork chops in silence, like last night.

I'll keep her home from daycare with just a sniffle so I can have a day off, too.

It's OK, right?

Wordless Wednesday

The Armful

For every parcel I stoop down to seize
I lose some other off my arms and knees,
And the whole pile is slipping, bottles, buns,
Extremes too hard to comprehend at once
Yet nothing I should care to leave behind.
With all I have to hold with - hand and mind
And heart, if need be, I will do my best.
To keep their building balanced at my breast.
I crouch down to prevent them as they fall;
Then sit down in the middle of them all.
I had to drop the armful in the road
And try to stack them in a better load.
-Robert Frost, 1928